Stop Suffering: call the number below.

It just rained and I was very unwilling to going out. My laziness had an excuse; there would be mud patches everywhere due to the bad roads. Plus as a short person high jump keeps me at a disadvantage, I wasn’t in the mood for that. Anyway, I shrugged it off, some other time Bruno Mars, some other time I thought. Today, even if i don't feel like doing anything i must go out to get it. So, in all high spirits, i went out. On stepping out of the gate, a little to my right i saw this.

For those whose phone prevents them from viewing, the picture above is an advertisement of a firm. They  are Consultants on all things spiritual. They offer great services like

• Business success                                                          
• Goodluck
• Protection
• Looking for husband
• Promotion
• Silent Rich

On getting to this part, i was like

silent  rich???? say what??? what does that even mean. Still, i proceeded.

• Do as i say
• Visa approve
• Exam success
• Avoid divorce
• Talent development
• Win court case 
• Physical power to win
• Any type of problems

"any type of problems"? who would be giving who the problem?

• Looking for job
• Ask for your Star
• Power win Lotto
• Power to collect any of your belongings 

And for their most captivating, jaw dropping, eye watering offer............, please i'll advice you to get a chair at this point.

• SPEND AND GET IT BACK

It was as if i didn't see that properly, "spend and get it back".

 I must get to the bottom of this. Curiosity, they said, killed the cat. I bet the cat wouldn't mind being curious, even if it leads to his/her death.

 
So i whipped out my phone, took a couple of pictures, did all the high jumps that was required of me, got what made me leave my room and headed back home. In my room i began to think,

i needed to indulge the spiritual consultants from Timber and Canbar Brotherhood; Canbar instead of Caliber, because who cares about spelling right it's their name and they know what they wanted. I dialed the number on the poster, and the conversation went like this
Spiritual Canbar: Hello
Me: Hi, i saw your poster and i wanted to inquire about a few of your services.
Spiritual Canbar: Where did you see it?
Me: Along rumuosi (which is not where i live).
Spiritual Canbar: How do you want us to help you
ME: I'm looking for a job (i know, of all the juicy offers? i had to choose that one? i did that so as not to arouse his suspicion ).
Spiritual Canbar: Okay, where do you want to work? oil company? or bank? where?
Me: Oil company
Spiritual Canbar: Our office is at Aba ( another state entirely ), its just #500 naira from rumuokoro. Bring Schnapps and #7500 naira when you're coming.
Me:

Spiritual Canbar: Are you there?

Me: yes, yes. Okay, i should bring Schnapps and #7500.

Spiritual Canbar: Yes. Are...........

Me: * hangs up*

It's enough, i've wasted my airtime enough. I can't believe people are desperate enough to fall for such scams. These guys would not be wasting the money they have on printing posters if they did not have a  clientele. I almost fell for one one time, though not as absurd as this, but that's a story for another day.